a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
