im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
How external is "for external use only"?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
