I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
