where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
