I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
