Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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