Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
