LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
