why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
