i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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