yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
