The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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