if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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