I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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