I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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