I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
there was a trapeze. enough said
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
