You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
