We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
