is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
