Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
