In the future we'll all be gay
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
my shit smells like andre
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
