guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
