We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
