"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Last time i carry you out of a forest
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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