So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
