If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
