This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
