dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
