I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
