rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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