I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
love makes seman taste better
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
