Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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