somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
