yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Panties = found
Randomize
