Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
