I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
