Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
where are my eyebrows?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
