theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
