Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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