you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i barfeds in our rink
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
