Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
