why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
