Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
