White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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