and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
