i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
