Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
