i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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