We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
it hurts more in the daytime
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
