I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
