Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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