I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
