omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
