ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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