just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
