dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
