There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
